When did I first notice that something was “off”?

This was back in 2015 when my son was in Pre-first. He was about 5 years old then. I realized that he would always struggle with homework (of course, in Pre-first, homework typically meant practicing whatever was done in school that day).

Anyways, I noticed that my son would have difficulty with spellings. Even writing simple 4-letter words correctly would be a task. At that time, I just attributed it to him being bad at spellings. After all, bad spelling is something that afflicts many people, not just dyslexics. I know this because I have bad spelling, and I am not dyslexic! So, although I felt something was “off”, I never once suspected that there was a deeper underlying cause.

When did I first notice that something was SERIOUSLY “off”?

Ok, so this is quite interesting. As part of his homework, one of the things he would be required to do was read from his storybook whatever page had been covered in school that day. He would manage to do this effortlessly; he was fluent and barely made a mistake.

One day, I asked him to read beyond what had been covered in school. He refused. He simply shut the book and walked away. I found that odd. Over the next few weeks, I tried it a couple more times. Each time he refused, arguing, “I haven’t been taught that.” My argument was that it didn’t matter.

And so the stalemate continued, until one day it struck me: when my son was reading the page at home, he wasn’t “reading” it. Instead, he was recalling from memory. Whenever the teacher read out the page in school, my son would memorize it. And when asked to read it at home, he would simply repeat it from memory. No wonder he couldn’t read something that his teacher had not yet read out to the class.

That’s when I realized: my son couldn’t read!

Did someone from my son’s school notice his dyslexia?

So, here’s what happened. Around the same time that I noticed my son’s reading difficulty, his teacher also noticed something was amiss. She called my husband and me in one day and told us that our son’s progress was not on par with the other kids in the class. She even showed us some of his schoolwork to illustrate her point.

While the teacher didn’t specifically tell us that our son had dyslexia, or even that he had a learning difficulty, she did tell us that there was definitely “something wrong” that needed to be investigated. Her initiative (may God bless her) gave urgency to the whole issue and prompted us to immediately seek professional help.

Where did we go to seek a professional diagnosis?

Let me first point out that until then, we had not even suspected that my son had dyslexia. Hence, we were unsure of where to go. Ultimately, we chose Caring Minds, a place that we knew “tested kids”.

Caring Minds is a mental health clinic located in South-Central Kolkata. As we later discovered, in addition to helping children with learning difficulties, they also treat a wide range of mental health issues.

When we met with the counselor at Caring Minds, we brought along his schoolwork (they had requested this when we scheduled the appointment). The counselor also asked us various questions about my son, such as his behavior, personality, and how he spends his time at home. Subsequently, the counselor administered some basic tests. The diagnosis was crystal clear: my son had dyslexia.

What in my son’s schoolwork led to the diagnosis of dyslexia?

Take a look at my son’s pre-first-grade schoolwork below. The first thing you’ll notice is that he got all the numerical problems correct but struggled hopelessly with the number names. This indicates that his arithmetic was fine, but his language skills were lacking.

But there’s more. If you examine the word problems closely, you’ll notice that in most of them, he got the first letter correct. For example, in 15, 12, 14, etc. This suggests that he knew what each number sounded like. For instance, he understood that the number “15” is pronounced as “fifteen,” which is why he started writing the number name with an “f”. However, he couldn’t continue after that and ended up writing random alphabets.

Later, the counselor at Caring Minds explained to us that this was a classic sign of dyslexia.

Note: Your child may exhibit different symptoms of dyslexia than those described above. It’s important to seek professional advice and not rely on my experience as medical advice.

Did my son exhibit any other signs of dyslexia?

My son was also a late talker. At an age, when most children’s speech is typically well-developed, my son spoke haltingly. He used only a few words and rarely formed complete sentences.

Fortunately, with time, his speech improved, and today he speaks English fluently. Thankfully, no professional intervention was needed. However, he continues to prefer conversing in English, despite living in a multilingual environment.

Late onset of speech is also considered a sign of dyslexia.

Note: Your child may exhibit different symptoms of dyslexia than those described above. It’s important to seek professional advice and not rely on my experience as medical advice.

When should I look to get my child tested?

I think the moment you feel that something is not right regarding your child’s academic performance, you should consider getting them tested. One of the best ways to determine this is by comparing their academic progress with that of the other kids in the class. If your child is consistently lagging behind the rest of the class, then that’s a good enough reason to get them tested.

However, remember that a one-off poor grade shouldn’t trigger a rush to the testing center. Every child can have an off day. Instead, look for a continuous inability to perform certain tasks, such as reading, writing, calculating, speaking, memorizing, etc.

Additionally, you might be notified by the school itself, which is what happened in my case. However, don’t always depend on this. The size of the class, the experience of the teacher, and the overall culture in the school can mean that your child’s potential learning difficulty may be overlooked.

Where can I go to get my child tested?

Most schools in Western countries have an in-house specialist who can test for learning difficulties such as dyslexia. If not, they should be able to refer you to an external testing agency.

The situation is similar in India. Most top schools either have their own department for testing learning difficulties, or can refer you to a reputable external agency.

If neither option works for you, simply search for “learning diffcuilty testing center” on Google, and you should find plenty of good results.

What if I’m not satisfied with the professional diagnosis?

By all means, seek a second opinion. Or a third. But remember, the reason for not accepting the diagnosis should not be because you are in denial.

The best way to judge whether you’re in denial is by imagining your child as someone else’s. Given all the facts, would you accept the diagnosis if it were not your child?

Not accepting the idea of your child being dyslexic is very different from not accepting that your child is dyslexic.

Can I try to diagnose dyslexia in my child?

No. My advice is not to try to play doctor. Instead, leave this to the professionals.

Dyslexia is just one of many learning difficulties. Within each difficulty, there are many variants, and many of these variants have overlapping symptoms. This makes diagnosis a specialized task that should be left to trained professionals. The last thing you want to do is misdiagnose your child.

Are there any books/tools I can use to diagnose dyslexia in my child?

Please refer to my answer above. I do not think trying to diagnose dyslexia yourself, even with the aid of books or tools, is a good idea.

Dyslexia and learning difficulties in general are very complex topics and are best left to professionals.

Resources

Alongside seeking professional help, I read up extensively about Dyslexia online.

Have listed some sites that I referred to try understand and help my child better.

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International Dyslexia Association

They have self assessment test, a digital library all about dyslexia and many comprehensive articles.

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Teen Health & Understanding Dyslexia

This teen health site has an entire section dedicated to understanding dyslexia.

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Understood.org

They provide resources and support so people who learn and think differently can thrive in all aspects of life.