What was my immediate reaction when my son was diagnosed with dyslexia?

Denial. Plain and simple.

My son was incredibly smart. He could beat kids much older than him at board games, puzzles, and other mental tasks. So, for him to be diagnosed with a learning difficulty just didn’t make sense to me. How could someone be smart and dumb at the same time? It was like calling a professional athlete unfit.

So if I wasn’t expecting dyslexia, what was I expecting when I went to the clinic to get my son tested?

I knew something was wrong, which is why I went to get my son tested in the first place. However, I was only expecting the clinic to detect some “minor issue” in my son and prescribe a “quick fix.” I was certainly not expecting them to diagnose my son with a life-long condition.

So how did I come around to accepting that my son was dyslexic?

Firstly, let me say that it took time—like about a month. This happened as my understanding of dyslexia improved.

I think one of the biggest mistakes that most people like me make is to confuse intelligence with learning. In the majority of cases, these are highly correlated; intelligent people are often the quickest learners. However, in a small minority, the two traits do not always go hand-in-hand. Some intelligent people can have a hard time learning, especially when it comes to specific tasks like reading. This difficulty can hold them back in other spheres of development. All they need to remedy this, is some special effort to address their area of difficulty. Doing so would allow them to blossom in their areas of strength.

To give you an analogy, a 100m sprinter might be otherwise supremely fit but may have a weak shoulder that holds him back. He would need to spend extra time in the gym to strengthen that shoulder to fully achieve his potential.

Once I looked at dyslexia this way, it became easier to accept it.

How did my son react to his diagnosis?

Remarkably, he was okay with it. To be honest, he was just five then and had no understanding of what dyslexia meant. However, at that age, children are free of prejudices and see everything in a very objective manner, which is not always possible for adults.

While acceptance was never an issue for my son, the remedy (special education) was. I have covered this in detail later.

Is there a social taboo around dyslexia?

Yes, there is. But I will add that today it’s much less than it was ten years ago when my son was diagnosed with dyslexia.

Taboos usually stem from ignorance, and dyslexia is no different. Ten years ago, people would equate dyslexia with a psychiatric disorder. “Are you saying that my child’s crazy?” was a common reaction from parents whose kids were diagnosed with dyslexia.

This ignorance was not limited to the general public; it was also prevalent among the teaching community, which I thought would know better. I once spoke with a senior educationist about my son’s dyslexia, and I distinctly remember her speaking in hushed tones, as though dyslexia was something to be embarrassed about.

I will admit that things are better now. People, especially in the teaching community, are more familiar with the condition. Additionally, the sheer number of children being diagnosed with dyslexia has made this condition more “mainstream.” However, there is still some way to go. Many parents still deny their dyslexic children help for months and years simply because they live in denial.

I hope that one day society views dyslexia as an inconvenience at worst, like wearing prescription glasses perhaps?

How did my daughter react to her brother’s dyslexia?

This is an interesting question. When we talk about acceptance, we usually refer to whether the parents of the dyslexic child have accepted the diagnosis. However, the sibling’s reaction is also important. While the sibling may not react much initially, they could develop hostility towards the dyslexic child out of jealousy over the extra attention from the parents.

In my case, thankfully, this did not happen. My daughter, who is three years older than my son, suffers from partial hearing loss in both ears and requires the help of hearing aids. Due to her hearing loss, she has had to undergo speech therapy to normalize her speech and continuous alternative treatments to manage the issue.

When my son was diagnosed with dyslexia, my daughter had already been living with her hearing loss for a couple of years. She empathized with my son and fully understood the extra attention he began to receive from us.

However, this was my experience. Your situation might be different, so you should be prepared for various reactions.

Resources

Alongside seeking professional help, I read up extensively about Dyslexia online.

Have listed some sites that I referred to try understand and help my child better.

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International Dyslexia Association

They have self assessment test, a digital library all about dyslexia and many comprehensive articles.

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Teen Health & Understanding Dyslexia

This teen health site has an entire section dedicated to understanding dyslexia.

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Understood.org

They provide resources and support so people who learn and think differently can thrive in all aspects of life.